UPDATE: WHERE ARE WE STANDING? (And why
are you shouting?)
Listen up you ruffians, scallywags and
(generally) lovable rogues. We're nearly halfway funded with just
under ten days to go until crunch time.
'What does this mean?' I hear you ask.
The amount raised so far covers the
perks of the badges and tshirts, a few minor bits of equipment, and
keeps the North British News on the air until the first week of
April.
Now, we'd like to be on the air longer
but we can only do that if we reach target. So it's over to you
lovely people. Like, share, send ravens to relatives you don't like
anymore, do a bit of grave-robbing* (or 'treasure hunting' to make it
more palatable) - the whole shebang.
We've got big, big plans for the North
British News and we'd love nothing more than to keep this going, to
make you laugh, and to bring about world peace. Okay...maybe we're
stretching just a little but you get the gist.
Help us before it's too late. Otherwise
it's Ragnajock. Is that what you want? IS IT?
Click for - North British News website
Click for - Twitter
Click for - North British News Facebook page
*The North British News DOES NOT
encourage grave-robbing. This was a joke. Please do not dig up
graves...unless that's your job. Is that even a job? We'll have to
google.
BADGES – We have a new set of badges
on offer. If you've already taken a badge perk but like the look of
these then fear not! When the crowdfunder ends we will inquire as to
which three of all the badges you would like. Because we're nice like
that.
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Check out a promo for the North British News by the excellent Phantom Power. There's slight beard.
What the hell is the North British News?
"The North British News is North Britain's most prominent and fearless news broadcaster. It's the only news channel that dares to report the truth and criticise those pesky, meddlesome separatists.
But all is not well. We've been running on empty for a while and now Sturgeon herself (or one of her cultists) is trying to cut what little funding we have using nefarious means. They're terrified of our hard-hitting journalism. The separatists want us off the air. We can't let that happen.
We need YOUR help to continue."
Statement from Alex-Stephen McProudscot, news anchor.
The North British News is a satirical news site that features weekly cartoon animations as well as news articles taking the piss out of Scottish politics and life in general.
So far we've relied solely on donations from a small number of very awesome people. (Seriously, every penny we've received has went on either bills or food. We like not starving. Thank you!) But it's barely been enough to tide us over.
The response has been great so far but if we're going to do this we need funds to justify our time, keep us from living in a cardboard box, and make it awesome.
That's where you come in.
We hit 20% of our target! HAVE SOME BADGE DESIGNS!
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'Space Trump', Massie Darling's 'Political Analysis' and Sturgeon's 'Cult Member'.
GET YER T-SHIRTS!
Here follows yer North British Resistance t-shirts with lovely tinfoil hat and radio waves. We are not a cult.
Available in the black, light blue or white.
Why should I fund this insanity?
I'm glad you asked.
If we reach our funding goal of £3,000 then the North British News will have enough capital to stay on the air until the Scottish parliamentary elections in May.
That's around 4 months worth of weekly cartoon animations as well as your continued dose of satirical news articles. F**king bargain!
Every penny of funds raised will go towards producing content. And the more that is raised the more time we can spend on making the animations bigger and better.
You'll get:
- Weekly news animations every Friday at noon.
- Satirical news articles every day or so to fill in the gaping void between the animations.
- Social commentary. Political commentary. And a news broadcaster that aims to take everyone to task and have a damned good laugh while doing it.
The animation is time-intensive and the funding will help keep the lights on and food in our producer's belly instead of having to pack it all in and go down the docks to make some cash (selling boats or something). The funds will also help with some technical equipment that'll make production of the animations a lot smoother.
If we go beyond target then it means we'll be on the air for longer and with extra funds we can start looking at expanding the platform.
The Impact
If you contribute to the North British News then you're helping to nurture independent Scottish creative talent and entertainment. That's one of them good things.
With the dire state of both our creative funding bodies and our 'national' broadcaster, if we want good content we're going to have to make it, and support it, ourselves.
We're starting off small but already we've got a ton of ideas on how to develop this platform further. There's no telling where this could go if the support is out there.
If we reach our target then we can focus our attention on creating content for you, expanding and improving that content, marketing, networking and collaborating to build an audience.
What if you don't reach target?
It might be that Scotland just doesn't connect with the North British News' style and doesn't care if our reporter Tim Thompson is sacked from doing the job he loves.
While I think that's highly unlikely (there's a severe lack of laughs round these parts these days), if I don't manage to reach our funding target then the North British News will stay on air for as long as we can with the funds which we do raise.
How long will depend on the amount raised but I'll try and make it work to deliver content until the moment I'm forced to go raiding bins (or work for one of those banks or something.)
Other Ways You Can Help
If you can't donate then don't feel too bad. You can help out in other ways. Share North British News on social media.
Badger folk you know incessantly to watch and read until it gets to the point where everyone around you wears headphones...constantly.
Start a petition to get the North British News a prime-time slot on BBC Scotland or STV. (Actually, don't do that last one. We do have standards after all.)
For the period of the fundraiser the North British News will continue to operate as normal with satirical news articles and weekly animations.
After that? Well...I guess that's up to you!
