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First Vaginal Beer: Bottled Instinct

Imagine the essence of a woman in one bottle of beer. Beer with a flavour of champagne!

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First Vaginal Beer: Bottled Instinct

First Vaginal Beer: Bottled Instinct

First Vaginal Beer: Bottled Instinct

First Vaginal Beer: Bottled Instinct

First Vaginal Beer: Bottled Instinct

Imagine the essence of a woman in one bottle of beer. Beer with a flavour of champagne!

Imagine the essence of a woman in one bottle of beer. Beer with a flavour of champagne!

Imagine the essence of a woman in one bottle of beer. Beer with a flavour of champagne!

Imagine the essence of a woman in one bottle of beer. Beer with a flavour of champagne!

Wojciech Mann
Wojciech Mann
Wojciech Mann
Wojciech Mann
1 Campaign |
Warsaw, Poland
$1,643 USD $1,643 USD 59 backers
1% of $156,213 Flexible Goal Flexible Goal

USE YOUR IMAGINATION

Imagine a woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try her taste, feel her smell, hear her voice… Imagine her massaging you passionately and whispering into your ear everything you want. Now free your fantasies and imagine that with a magic wand you can close it in one bottle of beer. The golden drink brewed with her lure, grace and flavored with instincts. Imagine the beer of which every sip is a randez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kiss you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for that beer?

Explore femininity in its purest form

We, The Order of Yoni, have prepared technology making creation of such unique beer possible. The beer containing a quintessence of femininity. The technology enabling materializing her loveliness, gracefulness and character, giving you the possibility of conversion of a tasty beer into a date with real goddess.

Help us to spread femininity all over the world

The secret of the beer lies in her vagina. Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of an unique woman. The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfers woman’s features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into a dance with lovely angel.

Beautiful Czech model Alexandra Brendlova, our source of Yoni

The crucial part of the project is to ensure the safety of the product. The procedures of isolation and preparation prevent other bacteria and viruses from surviving, providing the final product clean and healthy. In addition, we examine the final product on presence of other viruses and bacteria, the findings will be published on our website to make you completely sure it’s healthy.

FINANCIAL GOAL

Our financial goal is 150,000 EUR. It will enable us brewing 6 batches of ca. 16600 beers each. It includes the brewing itself, ingredients, bottles’ decorations, model’s reward, budget for the perks and the safety limit in case of change of the EUR/PLN exchange rate.

PERKS

We have prepared many of great perks, including beers and gadgets. Beers are only for the EU contributors. We would also like to offer beers to the donors from other countries, but it depends on potential cooperation with importers from those countries. That’s why we highly encourage importers and distributors from other lands to write us on distribution@orderyoni.com. When we find an importer in such countries like USA or Japan, we will inform you immediately that you can choose the beer in a safe way. We would be very glad if you could put a positive pressure on importers by asking them (or distributors, beer stores / restaurants /clubs owners, etc.) to import our beer or even contribute us. 

These are the perks we have prepared for you:

Beers will be delivered in the EU within 2-3 months after achieving the goal and brewing the beer. Within other countries the beer delivery can take 6 months more – it depends on the response of the importers. Beer perks do not have shipping fees because beers are to be picked up in the pick up location. If you prefer the courier option, write us after the contribution on indiegogo@orderyoni.com.

Besides beers, we have many of gadgets, like glass, beer-opener, posters, polo shirts, lighters or mobile phone wooden cases, etc. The gadgets we will deliver in the whole world within 2-3 months after the end of the campaign. You can find more information about the gadgets (for example colours of the wooden cases) on our website. If you choose a color of your gadget, inform us by writing an e-mail on indiegogo@orderyoni.com.

We have also prepared a lot of elegant gadgets for you

The delivery of beer will take place via collection points that will be enlisted on our website, and – within the EU – via courier services. We encourage stores, online stores, restaurants and clubs to take part in this action, we can guarantee it will be financially profitable, we will also provide some promotion of your business. Feel free to contact us on cooperation@orderyoni.com. If you would like to have such collection point in your city, in your beloved beer or alcohol store, ask the store owner, maybe he will be interested in taking part. 

The delivery of the gadgets, glasses, etc., will take place via collection points and courier services.

Courier services are conducted in the whole world.

VISION OF THE FUTURE: NEXT PRODUCTS

"Bottled Instinct" is just a beginning...

It’s not about one beer, but the wider idea. The surplus will help us in creation of future products. Our next beers, with a different model’s yoni each, include:

1)  BDSM ale – sour ale made with smoked plums and vaginal lactic acid bacteria of red-head or brunette model,

2)  Blond ale made with wheat malt, saffron and edible gold, with vaginal lactic acid bacteria of a blond-haired model or celebrity,

3)  Aphrodisia / Dionysia – wheat ale made with ancient strains of wheat, grape juice,

4)  Mona Lisa – brown sour ale with wooden chips, the tribute to the famous piece of art,

5)  Isis – Sour ancient wheat ale with roses,

6)  Cleopatra – Milk stout regarding to Cleopatra’s milk baths,

7)  Lady Godiva – sour ale with English hops.

And many, many of other great beers, based on Anime, history, modern culture, etc., with other beautiful models…

Production of that beers highly depends on your current contributions and making whole action viral. Also, we would like to produce other yoni products, drinks, libido drinks, kefirs, yogurts.

We count on you!

You can also visit our website in the following languages:




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Choose your Perk

featured

Voucher for 0,75l beer, glass

Currency Conversion $41 USD
€39 EUR
Voucher for 750 ml bottle of the beer (25 Fl. Oz.) (Available on Indiegogo ONLY), our branded glass, bottle opener, beer pad, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Beer must be picked up in pick up location enlisted in our website, optional delivery is also available.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
15 out of 2000 of claimed
Ships worldwide.

The website wall of fame

Currency Conversion $2 USD
€2 EUR
We will write your name down at the website wall of fame. This is the easiest way to bring the great dream of the vaginal beers to the reality.
Estimated Shipping
May 2016
7 claimed

Postcard

Currency Conversion $7 USD
€7 EUR
Postcard with the Yoni logo and the model, home delivery. Maybe the postman will think you have a good taste, maybe the postman will think you are crazy, but surely he will know you are a nice man.
Estimated Shipping
May 2016
0 claimed
Ships worldwide.

The VIP wall of fame

Currency Conversion $9 USD
€9 EUR
We will add you to our website VIP wall of fame with your photo. One day you will open our website, find yourself there, show it to your daughter, son or grandchild, and you'll say "look my beloved child, I am one of the founding fathers and founding mothers of this wonderful world of vaginal products".
Estimated Shipping
May 2016
2 claimed

FB post

Currency Conversion $16 USD
€15 EUR
We will tag you in the post on Facebook, so your friends will see you contributes to the great idea.
Estimated Shipping
May 2016
0 claimed
Ships worldwide.

Beer voucher

Currency Conversion $20 USD
€19 EUR
Voucher for (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) bottle of beer, bottle opener, beer pad, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Beer must be picked up in pick up location enlisted in our website, optional delivery is also available.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
9 claimed
Ships to European Union

Gadgets

Currency Conversion $21 USD
€20 EUR
Poster, beer pad, bottle opener, postcard from the model. Home delivery.
Estimated Shipping
June 2016
2 claimed
Ships worldwide.

Beer and Glass Voucher

Currency Conversion $30 USD
€29 EUR
Voucher for the set of (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beer and branded glass; bottle opener, beer pad, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Beer must be picked up in pick up location enlisted in our website, optional delivery is also available.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
8 claimed

Empty bottle for collectors

Currency Conversion $35 USD
€34 EUR
Empty 750 ml/25 Fl. Oz. bottle OR 500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz. bottle (to choose); Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster, bottle opener, beer pad. Home delivery.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
3 claimed
Ships worldwide.

Branded glass, gadgets

Currency Conversion $41 USD
€39 EUR
The Yoni branded glass, poster, bottle opener, beer pad. Home delivery.
Estimated Shipping
July 2016
2 claimed
Ships worldwide.

Yoni polo shirt OR Yoni tie

Currency Conversion $69 USD
€66 EUR
Polo shirt OR tie (to choose) with the Yoni logo; bottle opener, beer pad, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Home delivery.
Estimated Shipping
August 2016
1 claimed
Ships worldwide.

iPhone/Samsung wooden case

Currency Conversion $87 USD
€84 EUR
Yoni wooden case for iPhone 6/6S+ / IPhone 6S / Galaxy S6; bottle opener, beer pad, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Home delivery.
Estimated Shipping
June 2016
0 claimed
Ships worldwide.

Yoni belt

Currency Conversion $87 USD
€84 EUR
Belt, bottle opener, beer pad, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Home delivery.
Estimated Shipping
June 2016
0 claimed
Ships worldwide.

Four Beers and Glasses Voucher

Currency Conversion $103 USD
€99 EUR
Voucher for 4 (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beers, 4 branded glasses, two bottle openers, 4 beer pads, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Beer must be picked up in pick up location enlisted in our website, optional delivery is also available.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
3 claimed

Yoni golden black lighter

Currency Conversion $139 USD
€133 EUR
Zippo lighter (black & gold), bottle opener, beer pad, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Home delivery.
Estimated Shipping
July 2016
0 claimed
Ships worldwide.

144 beers voucher

Currency Conversion $1,458 USD
€1,400 EUR
Voucher for the pallet of 144 (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beers, 40 beer pads, 15 bottle openers, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Only for such entities like distributors, shops, restaurants, pubs, clubs, etc. Includes the transport on the EU territory.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
0 claimed

Medium euro pallet voucher

Currency Conversion $2,104 USD
€2,020 EUR
Voucher for the pallet of 112 sets including beer (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) + branded glass OR voucher for the pallet of 144 beers (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) and 56 sets (beer (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) + branded glass), gadgets: 80 beer pads, 20 bottle openers, Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed poster. Voucher for importers, dsstributors, shops, restaurants, pubs, clubs, etc. Includes the transport on the EU territory.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
0 claimed
Ships worldwide.

Big euro pallet voucher

Currency Conversion $5,774 USD
€5,544 EUR
Voucher for the pallet of 1008 (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beers OR voucher for 864 (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beers and 56 sets including (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beer + branded glass OR voucher for 720 (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beers and 112 sets including beer (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) + branded glass; gadgets: 250 beer pads, 30 bottle openers, 4 Alexandra Brendlova’s autographed posters. Voucher for shops, restaurants, pubs, clubs, distributors, importers, etc. Includes the transport on the EU territory.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
0 claimed

Girlfiend's bacteria

Currency Conversion $10,414 USD
€10,000 EUR
Voucher for 60 bottles of (500 ml/16,9 Fl. Oz.) beer produced on your girlfriend’s vaginal bacteria; 40 grams of the bacteria to produce home-made kefir. Additionally may require visit gynecologist in Poland or Germany.
Estimated Shipping
September 2016
0 claimed
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