Mattie and Mike Birchetts Story

Well anyone who knows my parents know that they both have hearts of gold and family means the world to them.  Our unbelievable year started in Sept of 2012.  My dad was diagnosed with Lymphoma.  Lymph nodes were involved and he had a large mass in his left lung.  We began our journey with the dreaded CANCER word in Oct and dad started Chemo.  He was weak but plugged on.

By the end of Nov unfortunately another event took place.  I was unable to reach mom by phone and drove over to check on them.  I found her unconscious and her blood sugar was over 800.  Dad also suffers from dementia and he was under the impression she had been sleeping most of the day.  :(  By the time the crew got her to the hospital it was not looking good for her.  She was not able to speak... had a vent placed because there wasn't a gag reflex.  That night seemed as if it was one bad thing after another.  She had suffered from a stroke. 

Jumping forward a month.... Christmas was spent in the hospital and dad continued chemo treatments.  By this time they were scaled back because the initial Rchop he was doing was taking a toll on him.  Mom was moved from John Randolph to Col Heights nursing home.  Her stay there was short.  Unfortunately she was heavily medicated there to the point she left and was taken to Chippenham hospital to be weaned off of the massive doses of various drugs she was on.  Once her meds were straight she was moved to Lucy Corr nursing home for rehab.

Lucy Corr was now moms temporary home.  She began therapy but due to progress and insurance it didn't last long.  She was then moved to the long term unit.  Mom made small progress daily but only while crying 24/7.  She would never accept this nursing home as her home.  We visited atleast 5 times a week and got to know each resident and staff member.  Mom had 1 incident with a staff member but other than that, they treated her like family.

By this time dad had already been in and out of the hospital several times with pneumonia.  Doctors bills, hospital bills, credit cards, house payments, car payments... it all added up.  Medical bills alone totaled over $400,000 by August.  Our hope was to convert our garage into a room with a bathroom for them.  We are blessed and had several friends donate time and money to my parents.  My mother also has siblings who some came and visited and one donated and continues to help with contributing money. 

August threw another loop into our mix and I was diagnosed with breast cancer!  Just what our family needed.  Dad had been living with us full time since before fathers day and when I received the diagnosis the only thoughts I had were "when and how can I get rid of this, my poor boys have been through so much this year how are they going to react and how is dad going to get back and forth to see mom each night.?"  Things went super quick... diagnosis beginning August and double mastectomy Friday Sept 13th.  No time to stress. I have the 2nd and final part of my surgery Friday Dec 13th.  Fitting Friday the 13th both days lol.  Dad actually went into the hospital yet again the day before my surgery.  Long story short... gall bladder removed.  No food by mouth only through his peg tube which hes had for months.  He was aspirating into his lungs. 

God blessed my family tremendously because I breezed through my surgery and was up and about within 4 days.  :) No chemo or radiation needed and no lymph nodes were involved!  Dad was moved to Lucy Corr for rehab (this was his 2nd time there since mom had been there too)  I was graced with a bill from his previous stay... wooohoo.  But this one had to be paid for him to receive treatment the 2nd go round.  It couldn't just be added to the pile like most of the others :( All but a small amount of funds we had saved were used to pay his bill.  So again with my cancer set back and dads growing medical bills, our garage was emptied....their belongings placed in storage and we started over saving. 

Me and Adam finally made the decision once dad was home MOM WAS COMING HOME.  This is all my boys ask for.  So on election day I signed her out and we started reliving our lives that had been put on hold for the past year.  Mom and dad are receiving physical, speech, and occupational therapy.  They are staying in a bedroom upstairs and doing quite well.  Luckily mom loves therapy... she wants to talk everyones head off again.  Wants to cook, clean, get the mail. Just live normally again. Dad on the other hand is battling because he is miserable he cant eat.  Hates early therapist visits.  :(

It is a challenge trying to figure out how to maintain a normal life for our family while being a 24/7 caregiver.  I have the best 3 helpers here with me.  Im beyond proud of my children and husband.  Anyone who knows me and Adam know Adams business is doing well Thank goodness.  But doing well and having a big sack of cash are 2 different things.  My parents NOR myself prepared for this.  They have nothing to sell...their house is not an option because it was in no shape to try to keep.  :(  We can feed them both... love them unconditionally every single day... help them try to get back to the best possible point they can physically and mentally but paying medical expenses isn't something we can do.  I have a growing stack myself.  Cancer sure does drain you mentally physically and financially. 

We are starting little by little on the garage.  I have a garage fund jar Im saving in.  I just really want them to have their own space they deserve.  Mom is so funny about trying to always go to bed early to give us our family time.  Which our time now includes them and man are we blessed we can share it with them.   

Ive never ask for help and feel guilty because Ive often wondered why people who I knew were well off had numerous fundraisers or events to raise money after a cancer diagnosis or medical issue.  Well I can say I was an idiot to the fact of what a magnitude this effects your life.  Looking back I wish Id done things differently and not taken vacations each year and saved...heck only to nags head but 1000.00 cottage each year would have paid for a $8000.00 room for my parents to call their own.  There is a line between living and saving.  I was raised by parents who gave me all I ever needed.  We weren't rich by any means.  My mom always told me how proud she was of all me and Adam have worked for.  Now we get to share it with them but its not enough unfortunately. We have a nice home but we are starting from scratch with what they have.  Nothing except beds and clothes.

What We Need

Anyone who can donate towards helping them and the garage Id greatly appreciate it.  Lowes or Home Depot gift cards, any trade skills you may have.  Husbands an awesome plumber but NOT SO MUCH carpenter. I'll trade off babysitting... do whatever it takes to make this happen.  They are going to need 2 recliners.  We dont need to buy anything new that we can find used and in good condition.  So just keeping that in mind if you know someone selling something please let me know. We can save and will continue to do so but my parents really have nothing from their home.  Lets just say mold was everywhere.  All their clothes no long fit. Which we are buying new little by little and they def have and will not do without.  They have a sitter who is helping out whenever I need her and love dearly but ofcourse that's a weekly expense. Its like 4 steps forward 5 back.   Money going out vs coming in for them is not good.

Ill continue to post on facebook their progress and even if you cant contribute please read my posts here and there.  Ive become closer than ever to my parents over this crazy past year and closer than ever to GOD.  I jump with joy everytime mom remembers to call me Michelle not momma or she picks up something with her right hand and each time dad walks up the stairs to get mom a blanket or thanks me for giving him his late night 11pm peg tube feeding.  The glass is always half full.  ALWAYS... Cancer , Stroke, doesn't matter.  Im going to enjoy what time we have left and try to give my parents what they have always given to me a HAPPY HOME filled with love and laughter.  Thank you guys for reading my book  :)

Love always and Thank you,

Michelle Tirpak