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Jet Ski for Goats

I'm going to jet-ski from Chicago to New Orleans to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens to African families in need.

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Jet Ski for Goats

Jet Ski for Goats

Jet Ski for Goats

Jet Ski for Goats

Jet Ski for Goats

I'm going to jet-ski from Chicago to New Orleans to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens to African families in need.

I'm going to jet-ski from Chicago to New Orleans to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens to African families in need.

I'm going to jet-ski from Chicago to New Orleans to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens to African families in need.

I'm going to jet-ski from Chicago to New Orleans to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens to African families in need.

Heifer International
Heifer International
Heifer International
Heifer International
1 Campaign |
Los Angeles, United States
$34,007 USD 745 backers
68% of $50,000 Flexible Goal Flexible Goal

I’m comedian Kurt Braunohler and I think I might have figured out the dumbest way to make the world a better place. I’ll be jet-skiing from Chicago to New Orleans (seriously) in order to raise money to provide 500 goats and 1000 chickens for African families in need. I’ve got the jet-ski, I’ve got my route – I just need YOU to donate money so we can help change people’s lives.

Every dollar you donate will go directly to Heifer International. Providing 1 goat and 2 chickens to a family in Africa completely changes their lives: the goat gives them milk, cheese, and yogurt, and the chickens provide eggs for food and sale. It’s a perfect renewable resource for a family, and Heifer has been responsibly providing African-raised livestock to families for 70 years. If we make over $50,000, the rest of the money will go to a Mississippi River organization that helps protect and clean up the river. (Money over $100,000 will be split evenly between Heifer and the Mississippi River organization, TBD.)

Just to reiterate, every dollar you donate goes to helping people in need. All the travel costs of my trip – the chase boat, the mechanic, the EMT, the Lifeguard, and the ex-military Marine Coordinator, are being covered by Comedy Central Studios. They will be documenting this insanely stupid adventure for a new digital series called Roustabout. And to answer everyone’s first question: YES, I AM REALLY DOING THIS.

Schedule (subject to change, obviously, because the River is a cruel mistress):

May 29th – Pre-Launch show at Schubas in Chicago featuring myself, Wyatt Cenac, and Candy Lawrence.

May 30th – Launch Party 7am, Chicago’s Navy Pier – come see me off / give me words of advice

May 31st – St Louis – what will happen?

June 1st – Kaskaskia, IL – what again?

June 2nd – TBD – we should have planned this better

June 3rd – TBD – now I’m worried

June 4th – TBD – oh boy

June 5th – Arrive in New Orleans – Celebration show at One Eyed Jack’s with Kristen Schaal and more!

Last year I crowd funded a project to skywrite a joke in the sky. We raised $6,000 and wrote “HOW DO I LAND” over downtown LA. The response to that was overwhelming. I realized that ideas (no matter how silly) have power, and we can take that power and turn it into actual good for the world. I hope you’ll support this absurd quest of mine and please share this, RT it, blog about it, and even join me on the river! I’ll be sending out constant updates, offering people rides, and doing shows as I ride down the river – so follow me on Twitter and Facebook and Instagram for all the info!


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Choose your Perk

Name Dropping

$10 USD
A goat will have your name whispered into it's ear before it is sent off to its family.
133 claimed

Personalized Tweet

$25 USD
I will tweet you a personalized thank you.
91 claimed

Great Butt

$40 USD
Lil' Minnow (aka Scotty Landes aka @marylandmudflap) will sign a pair of underwear for you with "I love your butt. Love, Lil' Minnow"
7 claimed

"Keep It Dry Towel"

$40 USD
You get the "Keep It Dry Towel" that I used on "Drunk History"! Plus you get to help people, which is better than a towel with my face on it.
47 claimed

Roustabout T-Shirt

$50 USD
You get the Roustabout Equation T-shirt that I'm wearing in the video. "500 Goats + 1000 Chickens = Jet-ski"
244 claimed

T-Shirt and Secret

$75 USD
You get the T-shirt AND a personal text from me giving you the secret to success!
15 claimed

Jumping Shout Out

$100 USD
I will Vine myself screaming "I love {YOUR NAME HERE}!" while jumping the wake of a barge. NOTE: Donation must be received by June 2nd for this to be done on an actual Jet Ski. Donations made after June 2nd will be done on a toy jet ski.
19 claimed

4 Shirts! (That's MATH!)

$200 USD
You get 4 shirts! enough for your whole family!
2 claimed

Google Hangout with a Chicken

$500 USD
I will do a 30-minute Google Hangout with you and 2 friends while dressed like a chicken.
1 claimed

Secret to LOVE

$525 USD
I will put lipstick on and kiss a piece of paper and send it to you AND personally text you the secret to Love!
0 claimed

Episode Dedication

$1,000 USD
We will dedicate an episode of the Web Series to you: "Based on the life story of {YOUR NAME}"
1 out of 6 of claimed
sold out

Get Married on a Jet-Ski

$1 USD
1 out of 1 of claimed
sold out

Name a Jet Ski

$2,000 USD
2 out of 2 of claimed

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