The Story of My Book
Perfectionism comes with an aura of greatness, of genius, of specificity. We associate perfectionism with Oscar-winning directors whose meticulous details make their work exceptional. We connect it with self-made millionaires who worked ninety hour weeks to support their families. We see it in the valedictorian that knew the answers we didn’t. Seeing these perfectionists succeed reminds us of how imperfect we personally are and everything we need to improve.
This is not perfectionism. Perfectionism doesn’t create success. It creates vulnerabilities to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and suicidal ideation. It creates a negative loop of constant dissatisfaction. It distorts reality.
Maybe it starts with noticing something about someone else: an impressive job title, a clever sense of humor, a sparkling white smile. Perfectionism magnifies qualities as essential markers of success, of self-worth. The perfectionist constructs life around this funhouse mirror—this distorted image that if they don't meet these arbitrary markers, they lack worth. So they work harder in hope of achieving enough recognition to validate their worth. But because perfectionists see themselves in comparison to others, they can never quite feel satisfied in their own accomplishments.
I’m Chloe Cullen, and I’m a perfectionist. My book Perf: The Unspoken Flaws in a Perfect Culture explores the perfectionist’s unrelenting quest to do, have, and be the best. The book also reflects on how perfectionism appears in cultural and mainstream ideas like The American Dream or self-described perfectionists such as Gordon Ramsay and Martha Stewart as well as socioeconomic institutions such as education and market-based economies.
Through interviews, research, and storytelling, you will meet:
- Megan Tan, who made the podcast Millennial at 24 years old documenting her post-grad perfectionism in 2015
- Delanie Fischer, who co-hosts the podcast Self-Helpless and re-evaluated her life after experiencing burnout
- Thomas Curran, who studies how institutions influence perfectionism on British, Canadian, and American citizens
I hope this book will provide a tool to help understand perfectionism in our everyday world and learn how perfectionism impacts our lives through my personal examples.
You will love this book if you balance a passion project outside of your full-time job, listen to the Hamilton soundtrack, read Big Magic or Untamed or Trick Mirror in the last year, feel that you’re “not doing enough” in the pandemic, follow every and any rule (including rules that you assume other people want you to do), or wonder whether your life is caught in a cookie cutter mold.
The Book - Perf
Perf is a nonfiction book, written in three parts.
Part 1: This section includes an introduction and chapters on Hamilton and the American Dream and Billie Eilish and the paradox of a pop star. There is also a quiz to determine whether you are a perfectionist and a chapter identifying perfectionism’s roots in paralyzing fear and burnout.
Part 2: In this section, we’ll track perfectionism through the mainstream and examine its impact on an individual scale (i.e. self-care practices, New York City lifestyles, creativity self-help books, and cooking). For example, one chapter looks at the TV show Hell’s Kitchen hosted by Gordon Ramsay (a self-proclaimed perfectionist) and explores how the reality competition encourages heckling for contestants who make mistakes and ultimately other people who appear less than perfect.
Part 3: This last part pivots away from cultural analysis into my own journey with perfectionism, including the institutions that have impacted me (e.g. my all-girls high school environment, familial roles). It includes a somewhat meta look into the process of unpacking my perfectionism while writing this book.
What I Need & What You'll Get
Perf will be published with New Degree Press. To help cover the costs for publishing my book, I’ve set up pre-order tiers. Money raised will go towards the following:
- The editor who’ll help me revise and publish my manuscript in August, 2021.
- The cover designer who’ll replace this mock placeholder with a professional, custom cover design.
- The layout editor who’ll put together the interior of my book and create my ebook.
- The copy editor and proof reader who’ll polish the grammar and spelling prior to publication.
- The launch & promotion efforts when I publish this summer.
When I reach 120 campaign backers, I will publish my book in paperback and ebook formats. When 150 people back my campaign, I will also publish a hardcover edition. When my campaign reaches 200 backers, I will bring these stories to life in an audiobook.
As a campaign backer, you’re not buying a copy of a book. You're investing in an opportunity to ride shotgun on my path to publishing. Pre-order my book now to receive an exclusive VIP experience, including:
- You’ll receive a signed copy of my book when I publish this summer.
- You’ll see your name in the Acknowledgments section of my book.
- You’ll be invited to join my Author Community for early access to excerpts from my book.
- You’ll have an opportunity to share your insight in the selection of my book cover.
- You'll get a rare glimpse behind the curtain of the publishing process to see what it takes to go from first draft to print.
And much more!
About the Author
Author Chloe Cullen writes short stories, personal essays, and scripts and perhaps thinks too much about how perfectionism impacts her daily life.
A script analyst and assistant to two VPs at a talent agency, she has a passion for stories in all media (TV, movies, podcasts, books) and writes to process her own stories with the hope that sharing her vulnerabilities will help others.
Chloe is the oldest of six kids. Her fondest childhood memories involve chasing her little siblings in the backyard after she finished her homework or giving them baths at her “shampoo salon.” She read aloud from a rocking chair for her kindergarten classmates, and she carries three books and a pen with her as her purse essentials. She currently lives in New York, where she is trying to take things one minute at a time from her collapsible desk.
To learn more about this project, connect with Chloe at chloeacullen@gmail.com and at her social media handles below.
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chloe-cullen-b9aa4a...
Instagram: @chloeecullenn
Writing Instagram: @ischloeawriter
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cacullen95/
International Preorders
For international pre-orders, please send me a private message.
Risks & Challenges
The biggest challenge with publishing a book is delivering the finished book to the backer. I have eliminated this risk by including the cost of mailing and shipping the signed copies into each pre-order tier.
The risk of delivering the pre-sale copies of my book is contingent on the publisher we use. I will be working closely with New Degree Press to make sure we ship the pre-order rewards to you as early as possible. We will keep all pre-sale backers apprised of my anticipated publishing date. You will know when the copies of my book you pre-ordered are expected to ship.
Other Ways You Can Help
I understand that some people simply cannot contribute to my campaign. If you find yourself in that position, I hope you’ll show your support in other ways. At the top of this page, you’ll find the option to Share my Indiegogo pre-sale campaign. Please copy the link and share it widely.
Share it with your friends, family, and network on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. If you’ll use #PERF and tag me (@ischloeawriter) as well as my publisher (@NewDegreePress), we’ll help amplify your efforts.
Share it with five friends, neighbors, colleagues, or classmates who might enjoy my book or the opportunity to join my publishing journey.
Share it via text message. Share it through direct messaging or email. Share it on social media. Share it and know that you’re making a difference.
Thanks for your support!
Stay well,
Chloe Cullen
