My name is Tom and this is not something I would normally do
and I still feel as if this may not be much, but I want to reach out and offer
support for a family that I grew up with that basically adopted me in ways I
could never forget by treating me like one of their own. Just recently the patriarch
of the family has passed and due to my current situation with raising my own
family I was unable to be very supportive or at least in ways I feel would be
helpful as I live so far away now. This man by the name of Roger was more than
just my best friend’s dad, he was my surrogate dad too and although my birth
father is alive I feel as if I lost my one and only father in such a quick and
unexpected way.
Roger recently passed away due to a severe brain trauma while
assisting his eldest son with moving back in due to hard times. He was gone in
a span of only 3 days after his accident. I will leave out the gritty details
as this is not what this is about, but the legacy he has left behind with his
kindness and self-sacrifice that he has offered my small single-mother only-child family and everyone he came into contact with.
When I was younger my mother made the difficult choice to
pull away from my birth father and go it alone as she felt he was a poor
influence on my life. This was a hard but valiant choice as it was certainly
not an easy path. Until I was 8 or 9 I was usually at my babysitters during the
day and became very independent so much that I was able to stay home after
school and no longer needed a babysitter. During my 3rd year of school I
befriended my now Best friend and subsequently his little brother who I also
consider the very best friends in my entire life. We did things every young
boys do by having sleepovers and playing video games for 3 days/nights straight
without sleep etc(hopped up on soda and candy usually). During this time my mom
worked night shift and did the best she could to get me into sports and
after-school activities, but it was a struggle due to her crazy shift to
support us with overtime. Roger took me in and brought me into a tradition that
his father gave to him and one day I would like to pass on to my child(ren),
Ice fishing. He was a carpenter by trade and with his spare time and materials
would build things for his sons such as a stand-alone tree house that was
nearly an apartment in the backyard and also what I would consider extravagant
ice shacks that included insulation, multiple bunk beds, carpeting, and overall
a "home" atmosphere away from home. Nearly every season we would go
out on the lake and ice fish and this happened for 5+ years until I moved away
when I was 15.
Over the years I have never lost contact with my 2 best
friends, but our conversations did become less and less until this past year
when I got married and my Mom flew them both down to be in the wedding as a
surprise of which I was not even aware. This was the best wedding gift I could
have received and it was such a happy time and things were looking good. We
have been talking more and more ever since.
This family who I have come to be a part of has had a rough
time over the past few years as Roger's wife has been struck with an illness of
her eyes that has caused her to be legally blind and is still a problem after
several surgeries. She has been a nurse for nearly two decades and when this
occurred she simply could not work and Roger has supported her and picked up
the slack. Now that he is gone that support has befallen on her sons who are
doing everything they can to help her. It was somewhat convenient that the
eldest son was moving back in anyway, but he has 2 children he also has to take
care of.
I dream of winning the lottery and donating the majority of
winnings to them because I know they have ridiculous medical bills and need
support that I simply do not have with my living paycheck-to-paycheck to
support my own family.
I know this may not go anywhere and could be lost on the
internet, but on that one slight chance we could rally up and give them support
I just have to take that chance and put myself out there for them.
I do not know where to even start with setting up something
like a relief fund, but I figured I might as well get the story out and see
where it goes because the love and kindness they showed me is something I would
like to give back to their family because they are just ordinary people with
extraordinarily large hearts.
It brings tears to my eyes as I write this and I had to get
it off my chest somewhere that I feel would do some good rather than just
getting "likes". I know plenty of people have a person in their life
that they can relate this story to and even if nothing comes of this I know I
attempted to do good by them beyond just telling them I am sorry for their loss
as I know nothing can ever replace Roger.
They currently do not know I am doing this as I would like
to be able to surprise them with it.
If anyone is able to make a donation of any sort I will be presenting them with a card with the list of people that also rallied for support and attempt to give them the card in person if possible. All proceeds will be going towards this amazing family.