Human Potential Relieved in Film
<p>I am a little astonished to find myself the steward of <em>Conscious</em>. I had no background in filmmaking or Integral Yoga when we began our first film, <em>Integral Consciousness: Sri Aurobindo’s Yoga and how Haridas Chaudhuri brought it to the West</em>, released in 2008. This adventure began quite unexpectedly and I suppose it was naivety and the quest of an ideal that kept me going. </p> <p>I think the journey began while I was a psychotherapist in private practice in British Columbia. I had graduated from the California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS) in 1991 and then pursued a good career in Psychotherapy for over a dozen years when three very personal challenges influenced me to follow a new direction. </p> <p>The first challenge was my coping with my parents' passing within six months of each other in 2002. After my parents passed it was clear to me that my life would never be the same again. I sensed a longing for greater meaning and realised that I didn’t want to look back on my life and wonder what might have been. </p> <p>Less than a year after my parents passed a friend and I travelled to Kansas. We were visiting friends and asleep in their house when fire broke out in the kitchen at about 2:00AM. Believing that others were trapped by the rapidly spreading flames I remained too long and the advancing inferno quickly blocked my escape. Labouring to breath I experienced an invisible presence imploring me to ‘get out now’. Groping along the floor I fumbled for what I thought was a table lamp and, with this in hand, I smashed a window. I scrambled through the shards of glass and once outside I collapsed. Moments later I gazed up and standing before me were each of my friends, mercifully everyone had escaped. Although the fire hoses did their best the house burnt for most of the night. In time I dealt with my trauma, but this experience had ignited a burning aspiration to create space in my life for some greater potential.</p> <p>About a year after the fire another challenge came when a dear friend’s body began failing from AIDS. It felt deeply right for me to offer myself during his final months and this is when I closed my psychotherapy practice. For me my friend’s dying was a painful and profoundly rich experience. He was anxious about death and had been consumed by his fight for life. I sense he may have only found peace during his last few hours. After my friend passed I had no clear plan, but having felt called to return to San Francisco ever since graduating from CIIS I left my home in Canada and headed south. </p> <p>One Sunday after I arrived in San Francisco Hilary Anderson, former professor, dean, and founding board member of CIIS, offered a workshop at the Cultural Integration Fellowship (CIF) on CIIS founder Haridas Chaudhuri. I was interested because I knew little about Dr. Chaudhuri. As the workshop unfolded I sat completely dumbfounded. Moment by moment a passionate discourse from those who had been Dr. Chaudhuri’s students revealed a spirit that I had always felt at the core of CIIS, but that I had never been able to put my finger on. During the concluding moments of the workshop Hilary turned and asked if I would like to share. Still flabbergasted, but with the floodgates now unlocked, my enthusiasm spilled over and culminated with my pronouncement that this was amazing and needed to be filmed.</p> <p>In short order Hilary and I assembled a small committee and received a grant from CIIS to make a film on Dr. Chaudhuri. After much planning, and hours of filming interviews, we made the difficult decision to halt the project. It had become clear that a film on Dr. Chaudhuri needs a good explication of Integral Yoga, and a film featuring Integral Yoga must carefully and respectfully present Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. It was a very different film that wanted to be made and it would be deeper and broader than we had imagined. We would begin again, and this time much more talent and money would be needed. In 2008 we finished and released <em>Integral Consciousness</em>, our first film.</p> <p>This was the start of a journey that now encompasses three films and has transformed my life and my worldview. I suppose it should not surprise me that this amazing adventure is taking me on such a rich, challenging, and mysterious inner journey. </p> <p>I sense that <em>Conscious</em><em> </em>has the potential to contact something of the sacred, and as long as I have the profound honour and privilege to be its steward I will do my best to follow the deepest wisdom I am capable of. </p> <p> </p>