Hello, thanks for joining me for a few moments -- writing to you as Liam Kiernan, the writer director and producer behind the proposed indie feature film “Die-o-rama” …

(-- Liam, I'm offering my expert consulting notes in brackets -- my invoice is taped to the fridge in the slaughterhouse lounge - lets discuss)

Challenge -- an audience thrives on both the challenges and payoffs of the movie-watching experience -- an audience wants to participate and engage with story essence, character dilemmas and plot conundrums as we all go on a rollercoaster journey to reach a goal with the main character. My job as director is to deliver worthwhile scenes and once edited, usher viewer participants through a rewarding emotional experience. A joy-ride which entices you to vicariously weigh-in on the alternating perspectives presented as characters deal with conflicting aspects of the unpredictable narrative which barrels its way to ideally, a profound conclusion.

(Liam, they're gonna say "Who's this guy trying' to tell me what's what, with this & that?")

It sounds like work but it's invigorating play, really. It's effortless and your senses guide you knowingly on the journey. How we experience a story is a wonder, and this elusive wonder can be demonstrated below in the story synopsis paragraph which contains words with the first and last letter in their correct position but the core letters are jumbled. Read it with velocity - your mind will fill in the blanks for you, and just like watching a film with subtly woven visual symbols and chock-full of dialogue sub-text (characters say the words but are really meaning something else) -- you'll speed through this and ask the bartender for another round.

(this totally is ... well -- nothing comes to mind - and it's not funny --but  see my revised invoice taped now to the coin slot of the vegan vending machine)

You mihgt tinhk Dei-o-mara snouds like it culod be a zobmei apcoalyspe – far form it; wlel tehn, a slhesar hororr flim? – npoe – it’s a “thlerilr” in the neo-nior vien – low key lhigthnig, marol abmigutiy and mibord dmraa but, in the end - in the fanil unravel, a vrey utlifpnig sroty. Dei-o-mara is an eggnaing igntriue rivloveng arnoud a ctiy coorenr who divscoers a haumn bdoy-ptras sgumgling rnig oteraping rhigt uendr his nsoe – how do you slpel CFONLICT?

( Liam -  spare yourself much blow-back and just say this; " A city corner un-somethings a body-part smugglin' ring operatin' right under his nose." -- See how just takin' the "g" off the end of words just makes it sound gritty? )

As the bdoy-ptras sadnicyte bloldy crary on wtih teihr dagneerete acvtieitis, our daer dotcor, the croeonr, setrivs to eopoxse the ocuclt orpeiaton but fnids heismelf clolnidig wtih a bcrik wlal. The tehrat to the gvray-tarin wlil not be teolreatd and the bclak-maekrt sayndicte use tiehr sabusttial fianncail roseurces and thier nruterud pilitocal connoectins to see to it taht our daer dcotor, the coorenr is dicresdited, piblucly dasgriced and sfwitly ferid form his csuhy job as ciehf midceal oficfer for the ctiy. Now cut afdrit, the jckaals cicrle and mvoe in for the klil.

Sarpks fly as the gourp rmap up the trheats on the stedfaast coorenr and thretaen his fmaily. Our dcotor, a forsenic pathlogiost, has rileed on ligoc his wlhoe cearer, but it ain’t ginog to wrok wtih czraed keillrs wtih the agmihlty daollr lideang tehm by the nsoe. His olny chlid, Finn, an 8-yaer-old boy, prufodnly ispnires him to tronsfarm form bneig the pirceved vitcim of bratulity and isjuntice itno a viogrous cambatont of the smae. Now the ex-coorenr is in the gmae, radey to lcok hrons on teihr turf but on his trems. Teshe gyus are tyring to semar hot maustrd on a bdgear’s nose — this bdgear is in one binrg-it-on mood. Tehere wlil be martolities –

“I get it, doc. --- Let us do our job and don’t get under our feet.” says the gumshoe.

(nobody under 5 is going to understand your use of the word "gumshoe" - try using an alternative word like "walpurgisnacht")

Nuts & bolts and the Ballad of the Seven Minute Egg

Over many months, I have honed the script into a lean, narrative blueprint (plainly written) that can be shot as a micro-budget feature with consolidated locations over ten days with a dozen crew members and minimal cast.

The budget? 50K, all-in for production and post-production and when completed, delivered first to a few festivals and then likely straight to VOD – My track record shows that I can and will deliver. I have skin in the game – close to 500 hours of writing and re-writing(!) using professional-calibre rewriting strategies -- and another proposed 1,000 hours of my time producing and the eventual picture editing undertaken by yours truly. I will deliver a well acted, beautifully shot -- entertaining film.

I’ve bruised my brain and slaved over a hot laptop to see that this is delivered to you on a platter. This is a barter deal for perks – I give my “all” for your “some”. But I have miles to go before I weep.

I don't have a delicious pie-chart with lard-like attributes as is common, but here is a budget top-sheet with the breakdowns:

• (people only like chunky pie-charts with bent arrows and lots of colors - this is too simply accounting-like -- )

  You can verify my 43 production credits on IMDb, I have two published novels to my credit and have penned a dozen decent screenplays – two produced, written and directed by yours truly. My directorial-debut feature has been released on iTunes which I co-wrote and produced under my production company banner, Indelible Moving Images.

  Rest assured that if you pledge a donation to DIE-O-RAMA and sign up for a perk, you’ll get your due whether we meet our fundraising target or not. The film will get made come heck or high water without having to resort to sock-puppet actors and a shoe-box camera -- it just means a smaller crew, less car chases, dialed-down stunts and a paler shade of special effects.

  Again, in plain English, - get on my team, will ya? I want to be associated with you and I hope you with me. This is a micro budget picture with a macro narrative. With your support, the raised funds will cover budget items like shooting insurance so that we can gain access to high-falutin’ camera and sound equipment and get access to fabulous locations!

  The monies raised will also cover inevitable crew and cast expenses in the form of an honorarium since it is essentially a volunteer engagement by troopers motivated by their indie spirit. The budget also provides for decent set food (quality snacks throughout the 12-hour day and a decent catered lunch). Well-treated tummies ensure an optimum day.

  The budget reveals allocated funds for things such as:

  *  location fees, set décor and art department elements

  *  wardrobe and special effects make-up

  *  on-camera vehicles and transportation department

  *  post-production expenses such as original music scoring & sound mixing

  *  minor legal consultation for Errors and Omissions release insurance

  * IndieGoGo platform fees and perk reconciliation

  
  

  Film production experience?

  
  
  25 years worth -- verified on IMDb -- see below

  
  

  
  

  
  

  (Liam - this campaign is full of words that very few will understand - action required -  hire me as your expert consultant and I will forward better worded sentences with most grammar possibly and cooler language)
  

  
  

  (Hey, Farnsey) --  If they don't get the "gumshoe" tag, let it be. I am finished with the slaughterhouse work and moving on to greener pastures!

  I have obviously risen to the level of my incompetence in the animal husbandry field and have surrendered my share of the hoof-furniture brainchild you hatched a while back, into your capable hands.

  So, I tore up your invoice. Thank you for single-handedly compelling me to cleave myself from the ranks of the slaughterhouse. Y'er de gradest!

  Cheers,

  Liam

  
  

  Who's in the picture?

  
  
  Casting is an on-going endeavour and will be cemented as the picture develops. Since this project will thrive on micro-budget and virtually exists as a volunteer undertaking and a labour of love, the cast will be a showcase of talented aspiring actors delighted to have an opportunity to subtly shine! This is the type of film that launches careers and we are honored to offer a leg-up to those with talent and a gleam in their eye!
  L. Paschal Tenet (yours truly), will definitely be in the picture portraying the Coroner. Daniel Lyonden will portray Finn, the Coroner's 8-year old son. Stay tuned for further casting announcements and updates as we push on towards pre-production!
  
  

  Other ways you can help (just like the song) --

  
  

  We encourage you to donate generously and with a big smile on your face to get this on the rails. I thank you in advance for your well wishes with every pledge from the "Baby Toe" level to the "Executive Producer" contributions tier. 

  If you’re unable to contribute monetarily, please use the upper left “share” buttons, to spread the word via social networks to see that Die-o-rama gets exposure and an audience eager to view this terrific crime thriller!

  
  

  Risks & Challenges (unlike the song) --

  Should we not meet the financial goal set out, the film will march-on and be made hinging on the generous understanding of the crew and cast but the scope will be whittled down to reflect the amount of funds raised -- thanks to your faith in the project.
  The shooting insurance is one of the most crucial elements in order to access equipment and locations. With insurance in place, a reduced budget would necessitate an adjustment of the shooting schedule, the extent of food catering, a scaling-back of crew numbers and reduction of background extras. The perks and promised delivery of such will not change. The on-location filming in the Mariana Trench in the most inhospitable sector of the ocean floor has already been cut - it was mostly to do with caterer-access anyhow!
  
  

  FAQs

  * When can we expect to receive our perks?

  Perks will be distributed as noted within the estimated delivery date

  * How can I confirm that my contribution was received and processed?

  You should receive a confirmation sent to the e-mail address you provided which will acknowledge your contribution

  * Will you keep my contact information confidential?

  Absolutely. We do not receive your information until the campaign is over. Once received, your contact information will not be shared and will be used exclusively to deliver e-perks such as downloads or a physical delivery to your mailing address of material perks.

  * We will send out a post-campaign survey to confirm all perk fulfillment details.
  

  * How do we know you won't just take our money and then it's all amusement parks and popcorn until the cows come home?

  That's just a dream - to be waiting on my porch staring out into the vista until they come home with the popcorn. They never do --
  
  

  Special campaign thanks to:
  

  * David Martel, renowned installation artist, for the approved use of his Blue Angel cave painting for the poster main image
  
  * Dominic Voisine at Video MTL for the campaign recording facilities
  * Santiago Gomez-Chartier for the trumpet stylings and Felix Del Tredici and Alex Kasirir-Smibert for their trombone and double-bass "happening".
  * Pierre Voisin for sharing his IT expertise in the quest