Humans are Weird: I Have the Data 

“A good science fiction story should be able to predict not the automobile but the traffic jam.”
— Sci-Fi Master Fredrik Pohl

 Simply put, truth in advertising. Humans are weird, and we all know it. How will this little fact affect how our alien friends see us? 

• Betty Adams lives in a particularly damp and remote corner of the Pacific Northwest and, like a hobbit, enjoys visitors so long as she knows them in advance and knows when they are coming. She was born sometime last century and will likely die sometime this century. She works winters on a small organic research farm when not writing and spends most of her time herding eccentric genius scientists (she is absolutely certain cats would be easier) with the help of her Great Pyrenees mix. Summers she spends nomadically wandering the Pacific Northwest in search of material for her stories and a regular paycheck for a biology major (she is reasonably certain those are on the Endangered Species List). She has several works published in the National Park Internal Database which may or may not be classified documents.

• In the words of that immortal  bard, Samuel J. Snodgrass, "Make 'em laugh!" I wanted to spread some joy in the world and after years of trying this, that, and the other I discovered I had a talent for pointing out the absurdity inherent in the everyday life of humanity. 
• If you are looking for epic space battles, if you are looking for generals winning victory through genius tactics, if you are looking for berserker warriors carrying empires aloft on their swords,  look elsewhere my friends.  Here you will find laughter.
• Here a quartermaster must discover why the humans insists that the mass produced broom, identical down to the molecule to every other broom on the base, is the "wrong" broom, and why and how they expect him to fix it. 
• Here aliens learn the meaning of "enough C4"
• Here a medic meets the challenge of understanding why a human thinks it can survive on chocolate cake. 
• Here Monty Python meets Star Trek. 
• Here I make 'em laugh! 
• Your contribution will bring that laughter to fruition. I will publish a paperback version and an electronic version of 38,000 words of the fully edited  and compiled works and 12,000 previous unseen words. My goal is to write full time and if we meet the stretch goals I will be able to do that. 
• Imagine a cozy cabin in the woods. Just the author, a big old dog, a cup of tea sending a tendril of steam into the air, and the steady tic-tic-tacing of the keyboard churning out more stories for you to read. You cannot find me. You cannot trace me. But you will get the fruit of my labors on a regular basis! 
• You will laugh! 

What We Need & What You Get

Break it down for folks in more detail:

• We need to pay the printers. That is going to cost around $1000
  • We need to pay shipping and fulfillment which will cost another $1500
  • We are going to fund the art, editing, and various costs of the next book in the series which will be another $1500 before printing begins.  
  • The author would also like to eat occasionally thus the final $1000.
• You get laughter! Joy! That special feeling you get when you find that package you have been waiting for sitting on your front step! The first perk is our chuckle-inducing E-book.  The second perk is a paperback. If we get to the stretch goals we will look at things like posters, stickers, postcards, all with the fantastic original art commissioned just for this project. 
• If we don't reach our entire goal  we will take stock of the situation. If there is enough to print the books we will get them printed and sent off. If not, we will send out the E-books and will get contributor feedback on if you want refunds or postcard art consolation printings. 

The Impact

Right now I am that author working a day job and squeezing in writing between gigs. Funding this will enable me to achieve my goal of a little cabin out in the woods with a full time career making people laugh through my written words. Funding this will enable me to turn tea into joy as well as putting food on the table of several printers, editors, artists, and ….what do you call fulfillment service types? 

• For as long as humanity has had records we have recorded two things. Humans desperately need a laugh, and humans are the things most worth laughing at. I offer up this plate of wholesome laughter, hopping to make your day a little easier. This is my bison sketched on the wall of my cave, my etchings on the Rosetta Stone. Let them laugh. 
• I have successfully funded and published a full length novel in 2015 "Dying Embers" BE WARNED. That is a very different book if you are curious about it. There is laughter in it, but it is entwined with a broken heart. 
• There is so much pain in the world. I can't get rid of the pain, but I can make 'em laugh! and I want to do my small part to make a better world. 

Risks & Challenges

There will always be risks and challenges when publishing a book. We might not get funded. A storm might flood the distribution center literally or figuratively. This I can promise you: I will do everything within my power to make sure that this book lands on your doorstep as soon as possible. 

• I have done it before and I will do it again. 

Other Ways You Can Help

Some people just can't contribute, but that doesn't mean you can't help:

• Get the word out and make some noise about the campaign. Share the campaign on social media. Tell your Aunt Gertrude about it. Do an interpretive dance about the wrong broom in school! (or don't depending on school tolerance for nonsense). 
• Use the Indiegogo share tools to make your life easier (in relation to this book, Indiegogo makes no promises about the rest of your life)!