Pure Perfection – Diamond-Like Carbon Coated Stainless Steel Guitar
Picks
Imagine the sound of a rapier sword spanking taught steel
with the crisp ricochet of bullet-proof glass… with nano-second response time
as the sword whips around at the speed of sound for continuous barrage of rapid
fire salvos, like a merciless Vulcan cannon, chopping away at the helpless
molecules that surround this weapon and succumb to the beating as they collide together
to transfer the invincible tones of a righteous lashing!
And your weapon doesn’t rest because it never needs to cool…
because this PERFECT blade will NEVER fail OR render your axe sidelined as a
result of the Earth’s gift to human kind… the material properties which have
evolved over the eons… Not only is it the HARDEST material on Earth… it also
has the lowest coefficient of friction you will EVER encounter! What is this CRAZINESS?
It means that this blade is so precise, so efficient, so
surgical, so SLIPPERY that it will never grab or bite a guitar string to do
damage of any kind… like a sexy slap in the face that stings but doesn’t hurt!
HOW??
Simple. The hottest,
most impeccable axe blade (more commonly known as a “guitar pick”) ever
created. The Earth decided to take it’s
sweet-ass time for millennia, to create the hardest material known to the human
race. Possibly the hardest, material in
the universe… The perfect material… Diamond.
What We Need & What You Get
We are trying to raise funds in order to construct machinery to allow
us to manufacture these diamond-like carbon-coated axe blades (more commonly
called guitar picks). We want to make the rock world a better, more
stimulating place with more righteous hard
rock shredding, devoid of intolerable STRING shredding!
If we don’t reach our goal, no
worries, we’ll still produce these deviant axe ticklers on our really old,
slow, inefficient machines... you’ll just have to wait longer to receive your
orders ;)
Thank you for your donations! Rock
on!
$5 donation: we’ll call you a ‘rock
star’ on Twitter (if you send us your handle) and do a little happy dance in
our office (some lucky donors may even get picture evidence, and an mp3 of us
shredding with the pick you WISH you had)!
$20 donation: we’ll call you a ‘rock
star’ on Twitter (if you send us your handle), do a little shred-dance and send
you ONE diamond-like carbon-coated guitar pick!
$50 donation: all of the above but
instead of one diamond-like carbon-coated guitar pick you’ll get THREE picks
and a case!
$250 donation: all of the above.
Really. And instead of three picks, we’ll hook you up with 20 picks in a
decorative container and shred all day in your honor.
$10,000 donation: Forget everything
above. We’ll send you a laser monogrammed DIAMOND GUITAR PICK. Not diamond
coated, not diamond-like carbon-coated, actual DIAMOND. The stuff that
sparkles in the moonlight, the stuff ladies love, the stuff that makes you a
ROCK STAR.
The Impact
Who doesn’t respect the Gods of Rock?
Keep our warriors fighting the good fight by gifting them with these diamond-like
carbon-coated axe blades. This badassery won’t break strings- instead
they enhance acoustics and make you look HOT on stage! And these blades
WON’T tolerate musical lameness!
Risks & Challenges
We get it- not everyone plays the
guitar. In fact, not everyone enjoys music. But many people… a lot of people;
perhaps MOST people… appreciate the art of music. This is where science meets art and it’s a
beautiful thing.
So what happens to the donations you
make if we don’t hit our goal?
We’ll put your righteous bucks to work improving the facilities we already
have so that our expertise can be applied more efficiently to produce these
tools at the highest efficiency. So that
you don’t have to be deprived of your right to deliver a musical BEAT DOWN.
Other Ways You Can Help
Some people just can't contribute, but that doesn't mean they can't help:
- Ask folks to get the word out and make some noise about your campaign.
- Remind them to use the Indiegogo share tools!
And that's all there is to it.
