My mother Joyce J. Stahmer, is suffering from stage 2 uterine carcinosarcoma (MMMT) a rare form of cancer. For anyone else that probably would be enough to dampen their outlook on life and even perhaps cast a shadow over their tomorrow...but not my mom, she's a fighter born and bred, and in her own words after she was diagnosed, she told me "Baby, I will face this like I have faced everything in my life, I will fight, this is not the end. Don't count me out."
I believe her. I am her eldest and a witness to her life...I watched when she decided she would no longer be a victim of domestic violence and on one lone and dimly lit night in a little known town in Florida, she took her life and future into her own hands. A young woman, a single mother at 24, with 3 kids, and no where to go... refused to be a victim of circumstance. She no longer cared to be trapped and chained to her situation and undesirable future, in which she would be fated to repeat her mistakes over and over again like a returning bad dream. Mom, my mom is a fighter, born and bred. People around her ridiculed her, "you'll never make it, they said...you'll be back" they said. "Why you doing such ah fool thing?" echoed and reverberated in her conscious. But a fighter does not concede because the opposition seems impossible or improbable. They find a way. Against every ones advice she joined the military, and quickly proved her worth. Moving swiftly and deftly up the ranks as an intelligence analyst. For 14 yrs she proudly served her country and in the process she attained the very thing she always wanted, a better life for us an abundance of opportunities.
But my mother wasn't just a pugilist who fought against the odds, she wasn't just a solider, or even just a mother. She was all these things yes, but she is so much more. Her will and determination was only equaled by the size of her heart, her kindness and willingness to help others always out weighed her own needs, and she often gave more than she had...even at her own detriment. But she never complained. she never bowed her head, cursed or muttered "why me" and in hard times she taught us this valuable lesson...how to be thankful. At night we would gather in our living room and sit on the floor and we would sing this song, one which we would sing many times in our lives. "God gave us shoes to put on our feet, food for my children to eat. And everything is gonna be alright (My Lord) be alright, everything is gonna be alright."
I grew up with laughter, and although I didn't grow up with a father, I grew up with a mother I couldn't out run until the age of 15, I grew up with a mother who cheered me on in everything I did...who ran beside me on the sideline when I scored my first ever touchdown screaming my name at the top her lungs! She taught us to never give up, to fight and not to quit, never walk away with your head down...to never say "I can't" To always finish what you've started and to most importantly follow your heart, find your dreams. My mother wasn't just a fighter born and bred, she was teacher, a lecturer, a storyteller who traveled all over WA state weaving tells that mesmerized adults and children, she was also an impromptu actress, and along with her fellow actresses and actors The Heartsparkle players, they would stand up in front of crowds and leave them rolling in laughter with their improv. You see her wit and humor is one of a kind. Fitting for a woman who is one of a kind. She also was an all star athlete. She earned the name The Black Cat for her agility and gracefulness on the soccer field, and she was an intimidating force to be reckoned with on the rugby field. But me and my friends and those I didn't even know, but knew her... just called her mom. Her door was always open and even though we didn't have a lot, there was always room at the table for one more. My friends and those who knew her thought I was the luckiest guy in the world to have a mother like her. I agree.
Recently my mom was hospitalized after her first chemo treatment. Her body weak and white blood cells gone pneumonia set in. From my understanding this is a common side effect of the treatment and it is probable it will happen again. The road to recovery will be a long and expensive one. With the apartment she rents and the travel between two treatment centers, one being in Miami, the other in Plantation Florida, not to mention the cost of food and other necessities, can weigh heavily on a person who is too ill to work. And this is the reason for this fundraiser...to alleviate some of my mom's worries and stress so she can concentrate and focus on getting better. I know my mom...she would never ask for anything nor would she expect any special treatment. She would quietly bear her burden. But some burdens shouldn't be carried alone. So I ask that you search your heart and give to the most deserving woman I have ever known. And if you don't have it to give that's ok, please take a moment to leave a prayer or a message on her facebook
page https://www.facebook.com/joyce.stahmer?fref=ts&... Thank you.
To my mom: I know you felt like I outed you. Your secret only known to a few...but mom you have been an Angel in the night bearing light for so long for so many. And I know if it was the other way around, you would move the earth in our hour of need. So, how can I, your child who has watched and learned from you from day one...no, how can we your children who have seen the love and kindness you so freely give, not do the same for you when you need it most? You're a fighter mom, born and bred, and you raised us to be the same. I know there must be times when you feel like you're on your own and there is nothing worth hoping for...when those days come remember how you raised us, and know you're not going into this fight alone. We are fighters born and bred. I love you, we love you.
Your son, Warren Curry
