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The True Tale of Ole Splitfoot

A horror-comedy where an order of warrior nuns posing as strippers must stop the Antichrist!

The True Tale of Ole Splitfoot

A horror-comedy where an order of warrior nuns posing as strippers must stop the Antichrist!

1 Campaign |

Pawnee, United States

$0 USD 0 backers

0% of $250,000 Flexible Goal Flexible Goal

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Thank you for visiting the campaign page for The True Tale of Ole Splitfoot vs the Lesbian Warrior Nuns or the Great White North!

We need your help to foil them nasty demons and protect the fine ladies of the Beaver, Dam!

Synopsis

Undercover warrior nuns, stripping to save the very souls of humanity, have to fight hell itself to keep us all safe from the clutches of evil!

Our story takes place at "The World Famous" Beaver, DAM! Gentleman's Club in rural Canada, Nestled in the coziest, backwoods, out of the way armpit of the great white north, this seediest of stripclubs will provide the backdrop for the bloodiest battle for fate of mankind the world has ever seen... oh, and there's all you can eat Tacos on Tuesday at the buffet!

Our Cast

We have been fortunate enough to attach some of the horror industry's hottest talent to this project! From 'Bone Tomahawk's' Michael Paré, to 'Bloodthirst's' Robert LaSardo, we have assembled the best cast The Beaver, DAM! could hope for.

The Crew

Director Max Cerchi brings over 26 years of experience to The True Tale of Ole Splitfoot. Alongside Cerchi, is a crew of industry professionals and genre enthusiasts, sure to bring you a film who's every participant eats, sleeps, and sweats horror.

Our cast and crew have worked tirelessly on this project, and now we need you to "make it rain!". With your generosity and support, we'll film in November 2020.

We have tons of perks to make it worth your while!

About Us

Co-writers Ben and Ash discuss the process behind the making of Splitfoot:

Check out our pal, the one and only Ron Jeremy, as he shares his love for the ladies of the Beaver, DAM!!!

As we struggle to retain some sense of normalcy in these trying times our thoughts and prayers go out to the patrons of the Beaver, DAM! Let's take a minute and limp lazily down memory lane... this one goes out to our favorite lady of Canada's premiere gentleman's lounge, Nat.

Looking for more information? Check the project FAQ

Let us know if you think this campaign contains prohibited content.

Choose your Perk

Just a Buck!

$1 USD

With this perk, you will get our undying appreciation and help to fund a BADASS Movie!

Included Items

Just a Buck

Estimated Shipping

August 2020

0 out of 75 of claimed

Get sticky Beaver, DAM! Style!

$5 USD

Want an opportunity to show off your patronage to Canada's finest gentlemen's club? How about a Beaver, DAM! sticker! Guaranteed to make your friends jealous!

Included Items

The Beaver, DAM! Sticker (2)

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Social Media Shout-Out

$5 USD

With this perk you will receive a very special social media shout-out without the mess...!!!

Included Items

Social Media Shout-Out

Estimated Shipping

July 2020

0 out of 50 of claimed

Special Thanks IMDB Credit

$10 USD

With this perk you will receive a Special Thanks Credit on IMDB and End Movie Credits.

Included Items

Special Thanks IMDB Credit

Estimated Shipping

December 2020

0 out of 50 of claimed

Smuggled Stirrup Syrup!

$15 USD

We all know Gerry's a cheapskate; always trying to find a new way to make money. How about you help her out by taking a bottle or 10 off her hands! (Just don't tell the mounties where you got it!!)

Included Items

1 Mini Bottle of Maple Syrup

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

The Beaver, DAM! Coozie

$15 USD

The ladies are hot, hot, hot! So...we figured we better offer up something to keep the beer ice cold!

Included Items

The Beaver, DAM! Coozie

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

The Beaver, DAM! Matchbooks

$15 USD

Hey, friend....got a light? You damn well do now! Own a piece of history and buy yourself a handful of the Beaver, Dam! matchbooks!

Included Items

The Beaver, DAM! Matchbooks

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Proof That Warrior Nuns Exist!

$20 USD

Did it really happen if you don't take home proof? What happens at the Beaver, Dam! stays at the Beaver, Dam!...unless you take home a copy of the festivities! Reserve your DVD copy now!

Included Items

1 DVD of the Film

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

The Beaver, DAM! T-Shirt

$20 USD

Just because the fine ladies of the Beaver, Dam! go topless doesn't mean YOU have to. Cover your tatas with a Beaver, Dam! T Shirt!

Included Items

The Beaver, DAM! T-Shirt

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Picture Worth a Thousand F**KS

$20 USD

You a fan of fine art? Need something hang on your wall next to the Picasso? We got you, Fam!! Just get you one of these unsigned posters! (Or be like us and use it to cover up the holes in your drywall...)

Included Items

Unsigned Poster

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Raglan Jerzee Does The Trick!

$25 USD

Are you a little more bashful than most? Regular T shirt not covering up enough? Well, we got you "covered!" Grab a Raglan Jerzee T-Shirt from The Beaver, DAM!

Included Items

Raglan Jerzee T-Shirt

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

The Crooked Cross Hot Sauce

$25 USD

Your mouth watering? Those fine ladies of the Beaver, Dam! got you craving something hot? Get you a bottle of that Crooked Cross Hot Sauce! Choose your level of heat: Father Stoltz's Mild, CeeCee's Medium, or Splitfoot's Hot

Included Items

1 Bottle of Hot Sauce

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Cover That Melon!

$25 USD

Bald spot got you down? Bad hair day? Nothing screams style more than a Beaver, Dam! lid on top of your dome! Guaranteed to turn heads and drop panties! (ok...not guaranteed....but we sure can hope!)

Included Items

Beaver, DAM! Hat

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

The Beaver, DAM! Condoms

$25 USD

Doin' the Lord's work? We got you "covered." with a 5 pack of condoms!

Included Items

T-Bag's Condom (5)

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

5 pack of Holy Water Lube

$25 USD

Baptize yourself before you do the deed! This holy water'll help glide you into home!

Included Items

"Holy Water" Lube (5)

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

DAY 1 ONLY ASSOCIATE PRODUCER

$25 USD

**DAY 1 ONLY PERK** With this perk, you will receive an Associate Producer Credit on IMDB and End Credits.

Included Items

DAY 1 ONLY ASSOCIATE PRODUCER

Estimated Shipping

December 2020

0 out of 25 of claimed

Liver n Onions Lick er Bunions

$30 USD

Good ole Gerry and her dinner specials....might just make you wanna jump for joy! Make sure you do it in a pair of kick ass socks!

Included Items

Nuns Socks

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 out of 1 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Liver n Onions...Bunions 2

$30 USD

Gerry's dinner special's not the only thing on the menu at the Beaver, Dam! Grab you a pair of beaver socks to keep your tootsies warm on a cold, Canadian winter's night, as seen here on Nat!

Included Items

Beaver Socks

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 out of 1 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Father M's Flask

$35 USD

Father M's got a secret in his pocket...and now you can, too! Grab you a flask and fill it with the holy water of your choice!

Included Items

Father M's Flask

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Flying Nipples!

$50 USD

Don't shoot your eye out, kid! Become a sharp shooter and feel like you're a part of the action with this Nipple Disc Gun!

Included Items

Nipple Disc Gun

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Date Night! (1st Date)

$50 USD

What better way to spend your first moments together, than to visit the Beaver, Dam! Date night package, 1st date, includes dinner and a movie, Gerry style: 1 DVD of the film, 1 miniature bottle of maple syrup, and 1 bottle of hot sauce.

Included Items

1 DVD of the Film
1 Mini Bottle of Maple Syrup
1 Bottle of Hot Sauce

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Picture worth a million f**ks!

$75 USD

Be the first on your block to wallpaper your whole living room with fond memories of the Beaver, Dam! Gentlemen's Club! You gotta grab more than one, though...unless you live in a shoebox! One poster signed by the entire cast of the film.

Included Items

Poster Signed by the Cast

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 out of 10 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Date Night! (2nd Date)

$75 USD

Wow! You mean you actually got a second date? Well, that's terrific! Let's get you some fun! 2nd Date Night Package includes everything from your 1st date (1 DVD, 1 bottle of hot sauce, and 1 miniature bottle of maple syrup) PLUS 2 Beaver, DAM! Coozies and a handful of Beaver, DAM! Matchbooks

Included Items

1 DVD of the Film
1 Mini Bottle of Maple Syrup
1 Bottle of Hot Sauce
The Beaver, DAM! Coozie (2)
The Beaver, DAM! Matchbooks

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

SIGNED Proof that Nuns Exist

$75 USD

Why not own the damn thing signed by all of the cast and crew?

Included Items

Signed DVD of the Film

Estimated Shipping

Original: November 2021

Current: May 2021

0 out of 10 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Your Face on the Wall of Shame

$100 USD

We've all been there....blackout drunk...dancing on a table....making an ass out of ourselves. Well, we all know Gerry's not gonna put up with that bulls**t! You get kicked out of the Beaver, Dam! and your picture goes up on the wall! Get your photo on the Beaver, DAM!'s wall of shame, which will appear in the film.

Included Items

Wall of Shame Photo

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 out of 5 of claimed

In The Minds Of Madness

$100 USD

Wonder who came up with this crazy film? Wonder who's crazy enough to be in it? Get a copy of the script signed by the cast and take a deep dive into the horror and hilarity!

Included Items

Signed Copy of the Script

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 out of 10 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Date Night! (3rd Date)

$100 USD

3rd date? Hehehe...we all know what that means! But before you get lucky with them, get lucky with us and cum prepared! 3rd Date Night Package includes everything from your 1st date and 2nd date packages PLUS 1 T-Bag's Condom and 1 packet of Holy Water Lube.

Included Items

1 DVD of the Film
1 Mini Bottle of Maple Syrup
1 Bottle of Hot Sauce
The Beaver, DAM! Coozie (2)
The Beaver, DAM! Matchbooks
T-Bag's Condom
"Holy Water" Lube

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 claimed

Ships worldwide.

Dam Warrior Nuns!

$100 USD

OK, so Kaylee wasn't REALLY killing a demon in the trailer. But our demon DID get pretty damn bloody. Own the tshirt worn by our "hands" in the trailer!

Included Items

Bloody T-Shirt from Trailer

Estimated Shipping

June 2020

0 out of 1 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

A Hard Habit to Break

$150 USD

Being a warrior nun is hard work... and Kaylee Williams' outfit from the trailer says it all. Own the blood soaked habit for yourself!

Included Items

Nun Costume from Trailer

Estimated Shipping

June 2020

0 out of 1 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Associate Producer

$150 USD

With this perk, you will receive an Associate Producer Credit on IMDB and End Movie Credits.

Included Items

Associate Producer

Estimated Shipping

December 2020

0 out of 25 of claimed

The Randy

$250 USD

The Randy....what can I say? This is a special one...for a party of one... Treat yourself right and get you a Randy of your own!

Included Items

"The Randy" Dildo

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 out of 10 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Nat's Ice Bin Buddy Prop

$250 USD

You all know Nat....she's not all there upstairs....or downstairs, for that matter. She must have misplaced her ice bin buddy. Well, her loss is your gain! Actual prop from the film.

Included Items

Nat's Ice Bin Buddy

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 out of 1 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Visit the Beaver, Dam!

$500 USD

Pack a bag, a**hole! You get to join us at the finest gentlemen's club in rural Canada! Come on set and be an extra in the film for 1 day!

Included Items

1 Day Shoot as in Extra

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 out of 10 of claimed

Get Your Song in the Movie

$500 USD

With this Perk, you will get your song in the movie and in End Movie Credits.

Included Items

Get Your Song in the Movie

Estimated Shipping

December 2020

0 out of 2 of claimed

Spider Nipple!

$1,000 USD

No...this ain't no super hero movie. Only thing maybe gettin' bit by a radioactive bug in this joint is Nat! But, you can take home a spider nipple anyway! Actual spider nipple prop used in the film.

Included Items

Spider Nipple Prop

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 out of 1 of claimed

Ships worldwide.

Out with the Boys!

$1,000 USD

You really want to chance it? A night out to an actual strip club with the writers of the film? Wow...you're braver than I thought! The writers, Ash and Ben take you out to a strip joint.

Included Items

The Writers take you out

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 out of 5 of claimed

Come Hang On Set!

$1,000 USD

Never been to a strip club? Never been to a film set? Now you can do both! Been to one or the other? Been to both, several times? Hell, we don't care! We'll take veterans, too! Come hang out on set and watch the filming of The True Tale of Ole Splitfoot vs the Lesbian Warrior Nuns of the Great White North for 1 day

Included Items

1 Day on Set

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 out of 5 of claimed

Nat's Lap Dance!

$2,000 USD

Nat's got just enough tread left on her tire to grind one out on your lap, guaranteed! And we'll be there to film the whole thing! Come on set and be an extra as a patron of Nat's, getting a lap dance at The Beaver, DAM!

Included Items

Nat's Lap Dance

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 out of 1 of claimed

Claim To Fame!

$5,000 USD

You want a little extra pep in your step? A little more glide in your stride? You want to be able to brag to your friends that you helped put the Beaver, Dam! on the map? Well, bud, here's your chance! Get listed in the credits and on IMDB as Associate Producer!

Included Items

Associate Producer Credit

Estimated Shipping

May 2021

0 out of 5 of claimed

1 Day Walk-On Role

$5,000 USD

Ok, you've done it now! You've managed to get yourself a walk on role at rural Canada's finest gentlemen's club! You get to be a part of the action! (Cold shower not included)

Included Items

Walk-On Role

Estimated Shipping

November 2020

0 out of 1 of claimed

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